Sock Sorting: Solved!

It’s a dirty little secret: Too much time is wasted sorting socks!

Silly talk, you say? I beg to differ.

Consider a load of laundry with 14 pairs of black socks (a typical amount for two people for a week).   That load translates into 28 socks, and those socks—despite being the same color—are likely to vary in so many ways.

Black socks, you see, are seldom “all black.”  They’re black with textured designs like stripes, diamonds, polka dots and plaids, and some are new and tight while others are old and stretched.

Once worn, they’re usually peeled off, tossed into the laundry, and then thrown into the washer and dryer, where they reemerge in a tangled heap . . . ready to be reunited with their rightful mates.

That’s when the real fun (aka torture!) begins: Sorting socks is easier said than done.

For years, I knew only one way to accomplish this infuriating feat: Position myself near a bright light, hold up a sock, squint hard and concentrate in an attempt to identify the oh-so-subtle sock pattern . . . and then search through the scores of other socks to find its mate—and if duplicate pairs were involved, try to match the socks on their level of wear, as well.

Aaaarrrggghhh!   The thought of it makes my head swim!

Thankfully, the modern world has caught up with this archaic practice—and my life has improved by leaps and bounds—and jumps of joy!

Enter The Sock Clip, or as the Sock Clip website enthusiastically declares, “The Original Amazing Always Together Sock Clip,” or simply, “The Original! Amazing Sock Clip.”

Made of a sturdy plastic, and available in more than a dozen colors, The Sock Clip allows sock sorters to simply “Clip ‘em,” “Wash ‘em” and “Wear ‘em.”

Say again?

It’s as simple as peeling off a pair of socks, clipping them together (courtesy of a handy, dandy Sock Clip), tossing the newly paired socks into the laundry, and then into the washer and dryer, where they re-emerge . . . like arm-linked lovers . . . no sorting necessary!

Developed by a man (yes, a man!) who was sick and tired of “losing” socks (sock conspiracy, anyone?), The Sock Clip is the end result of years of product development, according to the product website. (Evidently, so-called professionals said that creating a sock clip that could withstand the wear and tear of the wash-and-dry cycle was beyond human reach.)

Thankfully, the search for sock sorting sanity prevailed, and said man emerged victorious with The Sock Clip, which carries a “100% lifetime guarantee” and costs a reasonable $14.95 for a package of 32 clips.

It’s a small price to pay for such a time-saving, life altering product.  Sock sorting, once a dreaded task requiring bright light, eye squinting and mental concentration, is now a simple feat accomplished with barely a thought in record time.

And the choice of colors is an added boon for families.  When each person has his or her own Sock Clip “color,” socks are quickly passed to their rightful owners!

If that’s not enough:  The Sock Clip is made in the United States, with its assembly and packaging providing employment for the developmentally disabled.

For me, the choice is clear. So long to time-sucking sock sorting insanity, and hello to The (Amazing!) Sock Clip!

Copyright 2016-2020 Jonna Crispens.  All rights reserved.